return void;

The English language is a complicated pile of junk. Its only consistency is its inconsistency.

There’s 1 word in particular that I hate above all others: of. It’s pronounciation contradicts its spelling. It is pronounced like “uv” but its spelling is similar to “off.” If you add an “f” to the end, it changes, not only the pronounciation but also the meaning. It’s one thing if the spelling differs and is pronounced the same. It’s another thing to add a letter that should not affect the the pronounciation yet does. We should spell it like it sounds.

rainman and I started talking about this during lunch. There are other situations similar to this one and many other questions were raised. For example, if this logic is followed, the word “often” should be pronounced “uvton.” Why are there cases in the English language similar to this that make no sense?

There are other words like this: butt and but, bee and be, in ad inn, to and too.

Then I started wondering where the hell the “v” sound came from. So I started playing around with the letters. I wanted to see if I could find a pattern between the spelling and the pronounciation. Sure enough there is, so let me explain the pattern.

Let C represent all of the possible consanants in the English language, such that:
C = { b, c, d, f, g, h, j, k, l, m, n, p, q, r, s, t, v, w, x, z }
Let V represent all of the possible vowels in the English language, such that:
V = { a, e, i, o, u, y }

Similar to Rot13, all characters are shifted to the right within their address space by 13 values. This means an “o” shifts 13 vowels and becomes a “u” and a “f” shifts 13 consanants and becomes a “v.”

Shifting is restricted to the address space in which the original letter belongs. For example, the letter “q” belongs to C and can never take a value in V or any other address space other than C.

If there is a collision between the resultant word and another pre-existing word, the process must be repeated until a uniquely sounding word is created.

So I decided to apply this rule to some of the other words. “In” will now be pronounced as “ut,” “to” will be pronounced “lu,” “be” will be pronounced “ri,” and “but” will be pronounced “ryl.”

There you have it, fun with the English language!